Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Clear


Per⋅cep⋅tive [adjective]: having or showing keenness of insight, understanding, or intuition

From a young age I always knew what the bizznizz was. Much was hidden from me and a lot of things happened outside my radar. But even at 5, 6, 7 years old; I knew the men my mother introduced me to weren’t just friends, I knew what she wanted from them even. I knew she was empty inside. I knew, unwrapping my massive dollhouse one Christmas [I was 8], that my stepfather did it all for show. That he didn’t like me and if it were up to him, well…

Weekend visits to my father’s happened sparingly. I knew my stepmother didn’t like me or my siblings either. I didn’t worry about her; I stayed out of her way. My dad was quite critical, but even at a tender age, his remarks rolled off my back. I was always much wiser than my years. I was curious, extremely bright, a fantastical daydreamer. My sister [who is a decade my senior] used to take me to parties with her when I was 10 years old, where I was well-behaved and poised. If I believed in God, I would thank him for the beautiful mind and inherent self-confidence I have been blessed with.

My ability to read between the lines and figure people out has taught me that most people are so similar they fall into types. Almost like fabrics and patterns, “Oooh, you’re houndstooth”. No two patterns are exactly alike, but anyone with a keen eye will see that they can be quite similar. I once read a book that stated there are 16 personality types. I didn’t believe it at first, scoffing that we’re all too different to fall into 16 clear cut categories. But sure enough, as I looked through it, I was able to peg my sister, my brother, even myself!*

I am able to see not only a person’s characteristics, but why they are the way they are. Most people don’t get that far with their assessment of others. Sometimes I don’t care to figure it out; sometimes I unintentionally put pieces together. I often read between the lines. I can figure out motives, know when I’m being lied to, and can discern other things based on the few things I know about a situation/person. I’ve never been in a situation where I “didn’t see it coming”. I think the only people that are hard to pinpoint are sociopaths – and who wants to be one of them?

I think that due to my perception, I at times, gave the wrong people unnecessary access to me. Because I saw the humanity in them, and I understood why they acted the way they acted, felt the way they felt, I would sympathize and accept and try to help. I came up with reasons [some would call them excuses] for their behavior and put up with more bullshit than I should have had to. I gave too many chances, when one wasn't ever merited. I have since learned a lot from these experiences and I hope to listen to my intuition a lot more from this point forward. Although I’ve never really been caught my surprise before, a girl needs to stay on her toes!

Remember to be smart and listen to your gut. Doubt means don’t folks!

*My personality type: ENTREPRENEUR - Your energy comes from pushing boundaries and taking things to the next level. You bore quickly and are drawn to variety. When things are exciting and fresh, you experience a rush of energy that you consider your optimal state. You push yourself hard to reach goals of all types, and you expect others to do the same. You value independence and control over your environment beyond most other things and are willing to be bold and sometimes forceful when you really believe in something. 7% of the population shares this personality type.

    1 comment:

    1. It's refreshing to see how much of a woman you have become. While somethings never change, you still are inspiring. Keep up the good work kid. I always you knew you were great.

      ReplyDelete

    Be succinct and keep it classy :)