Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Random VII

I know I've been sparse with the entries lately. The reasons are these.

I sometimes have some crazy days and some extraordinarily interesting experiences. I have met a lot of incredible, outrageous people and often see a lot of enlightening and eye opening things. I've passed up blogging about these magnificent nuggets of material because I get caught up in all the details - how much should I say? Should I use real names? Will it be irrelevant by the time I talk about it? And then of course there are the haters who believe that I fabricate everything I say on here anyway.

Which of course I do.
 
The truth is that sometimes I don't believe my own life. Sometimes I feel like my life should be a movie. The other truth is I'm passing up so much great material.

So we on now.

And just like that, everyone's worst nightmare just came true...*evil grin*

So about the past few weeks.

I saw In the Heights last Sunday and wow - I loved it! The first thing I need to say is that I was so proud that this story about Hispanic life had been received so well and gotten so much attention. I felt that it was a very accurate portrayal of Caribbean [Dominican/Puerto Rican/Cuban] Hispanics in New York City - everything from their language, to their style of dress, to the lives they lead and the lives that they aspire to.

It's funny because before I lived in the city, I often envisioned myself living in a barrio like area... with people chillin on the stoop, sitting outside at night on the fire escape; a friendly, welcoming, diverse area that felt like home. And although I've lived in Astoria, Chelsea, Bay Ridge, Dyker and Morningside Heights, I never made my way up to Washington Heights. I guess I always thought it was too out of the way - and gasp! - too Dominican for me.

I thought the set was beautifully and perfectly done - I really felt as if I had spent two hours in Washington Heights, that's how realistic it was. In the center was a massive screen-print of the George Washington bridge, cradled by crumbling brick buildings with fire escapes on either side. Familiar Hispanic business awnings [a limousine service, a bodega and yes, a beauty salon] were nested on the street level. There were the subway steps, complete with a green globe [that means a station is available for entry 24/7], with "A - 181st street station" printed on the front of it. A fire hydrant, a sign for insurance and PARK --> [indicating a parking garage] completed the visual scene.

My favorite song was "96,000". I love how everyone [besides Usnavi] thought that 96K was a lot of money. "For real though, imagine how it would feel goin real slow, down the highway of life with NO regrets... and no breakin ya neck for respect or a paycheck!" I also totally relate to Vanessa's desire to "be downtown... get a nice studio and get out of the barrio"...Duh, that was me 3 years ago. It was fantastic and I want to see it again!

Things that made me smile recently:
  • The guy I met at 1OAK Sunday as I was on my way out, who saved me in his phone as "LadyBluebyfarthehottestgirleverasIwasleaving." Ha! I got a kick out of that. I then proceeded to spend most of last week hanging out at The Standard Hotel/Boom Boom Room with him and his buddies in what seemed like a non-stop party; which was interesting, and a very different experience for me. I was trying to make the best out of the fact that I was surrounded by blank-head barbies [my term for attractive but brainless women], 30 something old girl-crazy boys, and a bunch of randoms who popped in and out as the days went by. Usually no matter where I'm at, I can find at least one level-headed person to make small talk with, but the one person I felt I could possibly do that with [the host] was too focused on hunting down his next Asian lay. It was an experience for sure. 
  • Organic Tahitian Vanilla Bean Gelato. WOW. Just wow. Also, Luna and Larry's Organic Coconut Bliss in Cappuccino made with coconut milk and agave syrup IS AMAZING. It tastes like my favorite coffee [light and sweet, or caramel/vanilla anything] in a solid form
  • My apartment. It's just so cute!!! And although I haven't found my groove here yet [I still have things I'd like to finish/purchase/change], I love coming home to a quiet clean place and just being able to dance around in a wife bee and my underwear. Which I do, quite often.
I have really been paying attention to energy and my gut and the vibes that I get from people. I'm a social butterfly and my first inclination is to introduce myself to everyone and chat them up - but I'm finding that that can be wack if you don't choose the right people. I genuinely like meeting people and making friends. Shit... I prefer that much more than pursuing anything romantically. But I'm doing things differently now. I'm not exactly sure if there's a method to the madness but I just am not about wasting my time, or setting myself up for disappointment. Energy is so huge. I'm now working a job where I speak to tons of different people everyday, and boy does my tone and attitude change with every call! I unconsciously throw back at them what they are projecting to me. If they speak to me flatly and briskly, I will return the favor. If they seem chipper and sweet, then that inspires something in me to react the same. I treat people how they deserve to be treated [an original Lady Blue quote]. I have nipped many chit chats in the bud but not without telling people about themselves first! because it wasn't what I wanted to spend time dealing with. It just wasn't what I was looking for. Frankly, if everyone in the world were half as discerning, we wouldn't have so much tomfoolery going on. Because people will run with what they can carry [again an original Lady Blue quote - I'm about to make a book of these y'all]. People try to get away with all kinds of shit. You know this and I know this, and if you don't like it, then stop contributing to the problem.

This summer has been so hot - it's like the most beautiful, inspiring weather even though at times it has been sweltering. I have been enjoying it without my friends thus far, everyone is busy or broke or not in the city or just plain not feelin' it - so I was super happy when my good friend from Seattle said that she booked her ticket to New York today!!!! I met her 4 years ago when I was living on the West Coast... and of course I didn't meet her until literally my last week there. We have a really tight bond, despite only seeing each other a handful of times, and being thousands of miles apart for most of our friendship. I'm so excited to have her here in month!!! Now for a week, someone special to me can share in the whirlwind that I call my life.

I have been reading "The Science of Getting Rich" and it has opened me up to a whole new world of thinking - much of which I was inherently familiar with and already doing. I do think that my assuredness [?] of certain things that I wanted to happen helped them happen, but I'm not totally sure it works the same for money and a career. How much do you think envisioning your future helps you to attain a certain goal? Although it's hard for me to envision my future when I'm not totally sure what I want yet, one thing I have absorbed from the book has been the advice to express constant gratitude. I have found myself stopping in the middle of negative or pessimistic thought [I'm gonna be late to work, I'm not gonna have enough money for this] - and thinking about all the ways in which I am so extremely blessed [I live a free life with no drama, I am healthy and not hungry and able to think for myself] . It really does help in making me so happy.


Gratitude: the grass is greener where you water it.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

ENTP

It's scary how well this describes me at some points... I've bolded what definitely applies.

ENTP = Extroverted Intuitive Thinker Perceptive 

"Clever" is the word that perhaps describes ENTPs best. The professor who juggles half a dozen ideas for research papers and grant proposals in his mind while giving a highly entertaining lecture on an abstruse subject is a classic example of the type. So is the stand-up comedian whose lampoons are not only funny, but incisively accurate. 

ENTPs are usually verbally as well as cerebrally quick, and generally love to argue--both for its own sake, and to show off their often-impressive skills. They tend to have a perverse sense of humor as well, and enjoy playing devil's advocate. They sometimes confuse, even inadvertently hurt, those who don't understand or accept the concept of argument as a sport. 

ENTPs are as innovative and ingenious at problem-solving as they are at verbal gymnastics; on occasion, however, they manage to outsmart themselves. This can take the form of getting found out at "sharp practice"--ENTPs have been known to cut corners without regard to the rules if it's expedient -- or simply in the collapse of an over-ambitious juggling act. Both at work and at home, ENTPs are very fond of "toys"--physical or intellectual, the more sophisticated the better. They tend to tire of these quickly, however, and move on to new ones. 

ENTPs are basically optimists, but in spite of this (perhaps because of it?), they tend to become extremely petulant about small setbacks and inconveniences. (Major setbacks they tend to regard as challenges, and tackle with determination.) ENTPs have little patience with those they consider wrongheaded or unintelligent, and show little restraint in demonstrating this. However, they do tend to be extremely genial, if not charming, when not being harassed by life in general. 

In terms of their relationships with others, ENTPs are capable of bonding very closely and, initially, suddenly, with their loved ones. Some appear to be deceptively offhand with their nearest and dearest; others are so demonstrative that they succeed in shocking co-workers who've only seen their professional side. ENTPs are also good at acquiring friends who are as clever and entertaining as they are. Aside from those two areas, ENTPs tend to be oblivious of the rest of humanity, except as an audience -- good, bad, or potential. 

Read more about these profiles here

Thursday, July 8, 2010

What it is about Men


I've gotten a few requests to make this blog a bit more personal. ‘You’re too vague’ they say. ‘Why don't you write about this or that’ they say. So okay, I'll get personal. I'll get real personal.

I'm so tired of shutting dudes down.

Seriously. It’s tiring. Especially since the list of never ever's stretches from here till infinity.

YOU try coming up with 101 creative ways to say "You're too out of shape" [aka "Not even if you had a six pack"] or "You're dull" [ahem, "You're as intriguing as a bible."] or "You're not smart enough" ["You make Tyra Banks look like President of Mensa."]

Yes those have been actual reasons. Yes I am easily and sometimes suddenly turned off. But all the better! Lest we waste less of my time and theirs. This is why I often prefer to approach men versus standing around waiting to be approached. The kinds of men who find me attractive span all sorts of races and ages and intelligence levels. The issue is that they approach me solely based on "Hmm she's pretty" and that's their only criteria. That's some shitty, baseless criteria. Most people aren't even aware of what they're looking for let alone what they like. I, on the other hand, am aware of what I want and need and therefore strongly prefer to do the picking and choosing. All the men who have “chose" me... well… I’m single aren’t I?

I don't often do any scouting because I'm not looking to necessarily pursue anything but sometimes it just can't be helped. Sometimes a guy catches my eye and I throw caution to the wind, two-step and get my swerve on. You know?

Oh and yes, I am that girl. The girl who isn’t interested in even dating guys that don’t match what she seeks in a life partner. Dating isn’t fun, why put myself through all that just for some “fun” company? To see what happens? GTFO. I am also the girl that doesn’t know how to flirt. I have a much easier time engaging in jovial conversation with someone I can see myself being friends with, versus someone I either really like or really don’t - in both cases I clam up... But in one case I'm smiling cutely and in the other I’m mentally wincing.

Anyways.

In case you're not familiar with my current love-related mantra, it is this: I'm not looking for a relationship right now – an easy stance to uphold since decent options are very much limited [and let’s not forget, freedom is bliss] -- but I’ll be damned if I let a man who has all the dos and very little of the donts slip through my fingers! Translation: On the off chance that I come across a keeper, I'd be more than willing to snatch him up and make it work. Absolutely. I am not naïve or arrogant enough to believe that there will always be an abundance of great men lurking around the corner for me - there comes a point where all that dies down, when people start getting married or at least settling down, when dudes begin to have the upper hand versus what's happening now in my 20s, when women do. [Yes I've been reading Lori Gottlieb's book. Although some of Marry Him... was big on scare tactics, you'll find some of the points I did agree with reflected in this here entry.]



The fact remains that even if I'm a gorgeous, youthful looking 35 year old - the pickings [especially for single men around that age] - will be very slim. And this is the part where I gasp in horror, "You mean slimmer than they already are?!?!" [*Cue bloodcurdling scream] Yes darling, yes. Slim like my genetically blessed thighs even after a serving of cheesecake.

If you haven't already noticed, relationships [I use this word as an all encompassing one] in my life are very transient. It's usually just a few weeks before someone seemingly noteworthy becomes the last person I want to kick it with. This applies to people I'm even getting to know platonically [which is everybody, or at least it should be in the beginning]. As my associate [whose last name translates to Bad Pussy - I'm not even kidding here] so eloquently put it, "You meet someone amazing and then some shit comes out that makes you not wanna get involved". STORY. OF. MY. LIFE. End scene.

Apparently this is also the story of just about every damn body else on planet earth. But this isn't about them. It isn't even about you. It's about me.

Focus!

This is how the fish in the sea look to me: the majority of men are just not going to work, period [too old, too young, too ugly, too uncouth, too fucked up, too much baggage, has pets, wears flip flops]. Then there's a small percentage that are the ehh maybe types where I'm not totally diggin it but I trick myself into thinking that with just a little tweaking, they might work out [FYI they usually don't - see: all of my two-month ex boyfriends]. And then there's an even smaller percentage of men [I'd say one out of every 75 guys I meet -- I'm getting better at spotting them!] who intrigue me and excite me all at once because omg! not only does he match my A-List so wonderfully but it’s like he wrote the shit himself! Holler! The problem with the assholes gentlemen in this category is that they're interested, but they're never really invested. They're available, but they're not truly free. They're hot but they also know it. Hence our issues. [Luckily none of this human behavior comes as a surprise to me.]

Also, as a woman who fancies herself a fine catch, I tend to be attracted to men who seem to have it all: good looks, intelligence, ambition, passion. Men who have it all seem to also share another quality... the desire to acquire the best woman available, thereby making most of them maximizers - people who are never totally satisfied with what or whom they have because they believe something better exists. These people will drop a good thing in hopes or in “certainty” that they'll find better.

A "maximizer" in action.

Am I a maximizer do you ask? Only in the cases when I dated men who weren't good enough [see: my whole dating history]. But do I know a good thing when I see it? Yes. And I know better than to muck up a good thing.

That is if I ever find a good thing.

But I'm ranting and raving about all this blah blah bullshit when according to one man, I'm nothing but a heartless golddigger. Which is why I pour my heart out on the daily and pay my own bills and have numerous gigs and live in Queens and all that jazz.

And I quote: "I know what you're about - You would steal a man’s heart and money then help him look for it." High five to him because I had to think about that one!

I cackled to high heaven after hearing that -- so I guess I am a triflin' friend indeed.