Monday, February 14, 2011

Blues Clues

So damn. I'm here typing up some goodness on upcoming blog topics when I realized it's been a few weeks since you guys have heard anything from me personally. Well. The past few weeks have been nutty as usual. Here's a snapshot:

I entered 2011 with a joy and zeal that was rare for me at this time of year, and I was genuinely excited about all the possibilities a new year could bring. The New Years rush had barely worn off when I was told I may have cervical cancer. The news brought me to my knees and shook me at my core, and I did what I always do in times of distress: talked it out and sat in bed pensively attempting to figure things out. It was weird. The reactions from people were weird. I sobbed. I was 22 years old, I couldn't die! And why now, when I was so optimistic about life? The news sent my family into a frenzy and my Dad came to the city from down South to visit me for a few days; I hadn't seen him in years. A few weeks later, I went back to the doctor for a follow-up and luckily the cancerous cells [although still present] have lessened. I go back in the summer to do some more tests and until then I am compartmentalizing this and staying busy. Hopefully the news is good so I can enjoy my summer, cause lawd knows I do love summer.

The marketing stuff I was doing for that t-shirt line was short-lived as the HNIC seemed more interested in potentially banging me versus effectively running his business. After lots of clashing over professional values and nonprofessional behavior, he suddenly decided the arrangement wasn't working out. Over text. And I mean it wasn't, after one inappropriate incident where he pressured me to have an in depth sexual discussion with him [that was when I went hulk, quit and then decided to "forgive" him after his profuse apologies], I was hanging on by a thread. Talkin about he discusses that with people all the time. *side eye* I'm not one of your homegirls heathen! Anyway, in the end I called him out for being a punk, promised him his business would fail [it will] and kept it movin.

As I dusted myself off and scrambled to find another gig, I wondered if that scenario would be one I would often face as a pretty girl attempting to make a name for myself. I figured it wouldn't be the last time I'd deal with sexual harassment, but I made a promise to never ever let a man get away with it, just as I had refused to this time. But now that I think about it, that wasn't the first time I'd had a sexual remark made toward me in a professional setting. I remember a French ex-boss I had spouting off something about me wearing an apron with nothing underneath and serving him coffee. That was truly the first time I'd encountered anything like that and I was pretty much stunned into silence. As for the second time, no dice.

In mid January, I started blogging for Peter Lik's blog [he's a world famous landscape photographer], and that has been going splendidly. Hopefully I'm not jinxing anything, but my editor is positive and very helpful and I am learning a lot. I am grateful for the opportunity!

It has been cold. Literally a blizzard every week since Christmas. So cold that a permanent move to LA or Miami has been a serious recurring thought in my head for weeks now. So cold and white that I have promised myself I will not be in New York at this time next year. I'm afraid I'm going to be buried in the inevitable avalanche that is to come. Not to mention I haven't gone out in weeks, and lemme tell ya, these legs are itching to crawl on top of a table somewhere so I can shake my groove thang. My social life has been killed by this weather. KILT. Zilch. Winter is a lone time round these parts. Save me. It's supposed to be 57 degrees this Thursday and I feel like celebrating! That was after I did a double take at the weather and exclaimed "Fifty seven degrees?!" as if someone had told me they had 57 Masters or something. I wish I was kidding. I'm fittin to take out one of my elegant spring dresses for this here occasion. Someone send me a ticket to LA. I beg you please.


Anyway what else is new... I have some HIRE ME info in my header now. You should peep that, because uh, honey would like to get hired. It's time to make my life happen, and there really is no better time than now. As far as relationships go, Twitter is still treating me good, we have an alright relationship. Facebook and I are on the outs, I barely see him anymore. And tumblr, well that's my latest fling that might turn long-term depending on what his progress is like. So far the communication is good. He gives me lots of ideas. And as far as real-life fleshly men, well I don't know any of those. Just a lot of boys, and some guys. No men around here.

I actually had a few guys spaz out on me recently, and usually I would take that with a deserving smile but these separate attacks were totally unwarranted and ego-driven and a bit scary. One guy kept taking jabs at my perceived arrogance and went on to ask "What have you accomplished that makes you so special?" To which I should have said "Well I for one, didn't have a kid out of wedlock with some broad I'm no longer with" but I didn't think it appropriate to offend his son or his babymama you see. So instead, I ended the conversation appropriately but before I knew it, he had posted a diatribe about me and "girls like me" on his facebook wall. And it was all really strange you see, because I had never met the guy and it was our first ever conversation. Another knight in shining armor did a lot of the same, calling me a smartass, and then proceeding to text me to tell me I wasn't shit after I blocked him on chat and facebook. And yet another gentleman told me that he would like to fuck me into submission which caught me so by surprise that I burst out laughing - later I would find out that he has a wife - what a lucky woman. Yeahhhh I don't give my number out to strangers anymore.

Oh and Happy Valentine's Day I guess? I forgot about that shit. Probably because it's more contrived than "reality" shows but yeah, enjoy your cheap chocolate and pellet filled teddy bears and make sure to keep up the "tradition" throughout the year. And if you really wanna show a girl some love, holler at my paypal account [via the donate button] over there. Thank you kindly!

Also does someone wanna help me with my header? Holla atcha girl, as it's probably the only hollering I'm welcoming as of now. That stale typeface needs a revamp. Until later, my friends!

p.s. - That new Gaga song "Born this way"... I dunno man. I just don't know. I don't wanna knock her but... nahhh man. Just nah.

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