Thursday, February 24, 2011

Sex and the City part deux


Good picture of the squad. They don't look as dreadfully airbrushed in this one.
 They say not to address the haters, but what would be the fun in that? SATC often gets royally shitted on and the beef usually stems from the same handful of issues. Let's address what the naysayers so desperately want to know:

How can Carrie afford to party and bullshit 24/7?
Listen, I don't know how much a weekly newspaper column pays but let's look at the facts. The girl has a rent controlled apartment ($750) and is a small town celebrity in the small world better known as Manhattan. She also has a handful of successful and well-connected best friends and at least a decade of New York residency under her belt which means she has her footing and presumably other long-standing relationships in the city. And have you seen her body/build? The girl clearly doesn't eat much. I mean, she keeps sweaters in her stove. I think with all that being said it's safe to say her chump change and notoriety go pretty far. People who think you need hundreds to have a good time clearly aren't all that creative [or well-connected].

Why is the show drowning in a sea of milk?
Although people of color occasionally stepped foot on camera it was not a regular occurrence so I am making a fair assumption that all the bigwigs behind this show were white. I'm kind of glad colored cameos weren't commonplace for the simple fact that I wouldn't want the writers doing a hackjob of it. Plus we all know it would have been a damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario. Some people are just never happy, whether they're stereotyped or not. And lastly, as much as we want to think that white NYC career women run in diverse social circles, the truth is, they usually don't. Let's stop the kidding right now. Even my best white girlfriends have a tightknit crew of white counterparts that aren't going anywhere. They like to keep the main backstabbers in close quarters, nah mean?

Why does the show give off mixed messages about empowerment?
The show had to make their messages mixed because on any given day, most women have mixed feelings about what it means to be empowered! Most women don't know what the fuck they want, and I've never denied this. Ask a woman an emotion-based question on a random Tuesday and then during her period and you'll get two different answers. They don't know if they wanna stay home or raise the baby or go to work or get a nanny or do some gardening. I wish it weren't true, but women are batshit crazy, haven't you heard?

Why do these women only talk about men/sex/relationships?
A little while ago I tweeted "It is a little strange that four women with successful careers would never talk about their jobs, only men." But now that I think about it, the name of the show is clearly "Sex and the City", so those are the two elements that the topics will focus on. The title of the show is the premise! Imagine that. I'm sure there was more going on in these fictional characters lives but they zeroed in on the topic at hand. If there was a show called "Watch Lady Blue make hot beverages" you best believe you'd be watchin me get my lil teapot on a whole lot more than once.

Is Samantha a man?
Of course not, she's just a woman who likes to have a lot of sex and is unabashed in her love and pursuit of it. I've never met a woman like this though. What's that? You haven't either? Oh.

Why are four middle aged women fucking and traipsing the streets like they're 21?
Okay. See that I never figured out the answer to. And I find it really odd that they do that. I mean if they're doing all this galavanting in their 30s then what did they do in their 20s?! Study? Because if they partied just as hard in their 20s it baffles me that they've been on this road for like 15 years and yet still expect to find a man in those quarters. Honestly. Isn't that the definition of insanity? I mean I meet guys and socialize and hit the city hard like mad now and plan on continuing this awesomeness for at least another five unattached years... but when I'm 35? Naw. I'll be a home-owning single mom to an adopted Taiwanese baby while working feverishly on my third book. Also, me and little Ni-Hao will be regularly seeing the world. Oh yes. Bar-hopping and "networking" are cool and all that but I don't think my 35 year old feet will be down for heels and dating games anymore. I'll be rocking my snuggie, nursing my Asian babychildren [perhaps a Pinoy the second time around] and watching ancient Family Matters episodes. I'll be old then.

Why were the movies such horrible, cliched, shallow trash?
I'm kidding, nobody really said this [out loud], but I certainly wondered. They should have given up while they were ahead, and in my opinion, that was somewhere after Berger dueced Carrie and before she met the Russian. He gave me the utmost creeps from jump peering at Carrie all funny in the art gallery. Shoutout to Marina Abramović though! That's a real wild old lady.

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