Thursday, August 25, 2011

The thing about being yourself

The only BlueShame in a sea of white faces

There's a lot of talk on the internet about "Being yourself", but how many of the people touting this advice even follow it? Very few, I'm sure. Why? Because it takes strength to be uniquely you. See, one crucial key to being yourself that people often forgo mentioning is strength. Strength is having the enormous courage and willpower to face life's hurdles and follow through on whatever you feel is right for you.

Why do you need strength? Take for example, me. I have always been "myself" and am very proud of the woman I have become. But for every person who has adored me, there have been five people who urged me to change. I've been called countless forgettable names, I've been told that I'm too outspoken, too opinionated, I have too much masculine energy, I should wear my hair differently, I should wear heels all the time, I should wear less makeup, I should gain weight, I should be sexier, I shouldn't be so serious, I should pick a "safe" career, I should be submissive. With all those darts [and sometimes poison] being thrown at me upon choosing to follow my own path, it took conviction to say "No thanks. This is who I truly am, take it or leave it." 

She was born this way. [Quite literally.]

For another example, let's look at Lady Gaga. She has repeatedly told the public that her hair, outfits and proper diction are who she really is, even going so far as to title her third release 'Born This Way'. And while even I [an enamored fan] have my reservations, who are you and I to say different? Who are we to say that thigh-baring get-ups and platinum blonde locks aren't what feel most natural to her? For her to do as she pleases, in front of the [critical] world no less, admittedly takes strength and brass balls.

I've always admired people who know what they want and what they're about [see: Lady Gaga, Patti Stanger, Kelly Cutrone, Tabatha Coffey, Stevie Nicks etc]. The people who can quickly and confidently say "No, that's not for me" or "Wow! I love that!" They are examples of how being yourself rocks. On the flipside, are naysayers who say things like "Sometimes the worst advice you can give someone is to be themselves" or "What if the real you sucks?" Well, newsflash! That "sucky" person isn't really you, it's merely a mirage of negative feelings that are floating around your true spirit. Sometimes negative clouds encase us for so long that we start to feel like they are intertwined with our spirit. That's when taking action is necessary. That's when a purging of all the bad needs to happen: all the expectations others have of you, all the false promises you've made, all the damaging beliefs you harbor; they've gotta go, and they've gotta go now.


Being yourself is about being the best person that you can be, the healthiest person that you are capable of being. Do not settle for an ornery state of being, a clouded spirit or a lesser version of you. Attempt to be the full you, you at your highest capacity. And if you're having trouble getting there, open up your heart and mind and the help will come. Be sincere and open in your desire to transform and the tools will be handed to you. This is not some fantastical hullaboo spiritual speak either. What I mean is, there are plenty of people out there living their best lives who would be delighted to help you do the same! And I'm not necessarily talking about gurus or corporate head honchos, this person can be your next door neighbor, your teacher or grandma. Anyone wise and sincere, and most importantly, very in tune with themselves.

Take some time to block out life's noise and talk to people, ask questions of yourself, read self-help books. Train your intuition by paying attention to when your stomach feels a little jolt, to when your palms sweat, to when your heart skips a beat. These are all clues to goodness or badness, things you are drawn to or repulsed by. Pay attention to that little voice in your head that says "Wait..." and listen closely when it says "Go!" If you pay attention to yourself, you will be well on your way to coming into your self. 

*So much for being in touch with myself... When I felt the first vibrations of the earthquake [my first ever!] on Tuesday afternoon, I immediately doubted what I'd just felt: "Is the room swaying or... is it just me?" How many of you did the same?

1 comment:

Be succinct and keep it classy :)