Thursday, October 13, 2011

Beauty isn't for everyone

I'm sure you've seen one of these quotes floating around the internet, quips oft posted by throngs of 16 year old girls who wish them to be true:

Nice thought, but try again.


Why do I have an issue with these images? Because they're untrue. We're going to talk about beauty in the natural, bare bones, physical sense, as is defined here: A combination of qualities that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight. Beauty also known as: prettiness, attractiveness or loveliness.

I'm a big fan of being realistic. And I'm going to show you just how real I can get.

The key to raising the collective female self-esteem is not by telling everyone they're beautiful just the way they are. That's actually the wrong thing to do. Why? Because it creates a false reality. Although it can be argued that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, we must admit that not everyone is physically beautiful; just like not everyone has blue eyes and not everyone has brown hair. If you convince everyone that they are attractive even when they are clearly not, model castings will become the visual equivalent of American Idol auditions. And who wants to be the person to tell a two on a scale of one to ten that their face is just not symmetrical?

Certainly not I.

So here is the key. You ready? The key is to take the emphasis off of physical beauty to begin with. Far too much emphasis is placed on physical beauty in our society, that it is often enough to have it and flaunt nothing else. Here's a little newsflash about your looks though [barring body modifications: weight loss/gain, plastic surgery, tattoos/piercings, muscles of course]: Not only are they subjective, but you can't take any credit for them. You got what you got and there's really nothing more to it. All you can do from then on is work with what you have, and keep it in perspective.

We need to teach our young men and women that we are much much more than just our fleshly bodies. That even if you aren't a looker to most, you better have something in that brain of yours that makes folks look twice! You better have something to say, and the ability to say it with confidence. You better have a hobby, you better be good at something, you better hold your head high and have something to offer to the world and others. You better be a star on the inside and you better let it shine. Because the worst kind of ugly is the kind where the person practically needs an exorcism.

Essentially, we need to attach more importance to the sparkle of a personality than the degree of hip curvature.

This is a message to everyone, all of the beautiful and all of the not so: Don't rest your worth on something that is unchangeable and ultimately fleeting. Focus on what stays. How tasty is a beautifully frosted cake with rotten filling anyway? What good is a beautiful front yard garden when the house is empty? But let's not get it twisted either: the house with the antiques, crown molding and marble inside could also use a power wash outside. Not working your outside to the best of your ability is just as bad as being a blankhead Barbie.

You're probably thinking "Well this is easy for you to say Lady Blue, you're so beautiful/stunning/a goddess." And to that, I say two things and two things only.
1) I know *flips hair* take a picture, it'll last longer and 2) Even models sometimes look a wreck.

Peep below: 

If you do not zoom in on this picture, you have missed out on one of life's greatest opportunities.

This is why it's important to have a personality. Makeup washes off and clothes come off. And all that's left is you.

Looks can get you in the door, but personality determines whether you stay in the building.

P.S. - Don't listen to the media. Fuck the media and their regurgitated and impossible standards of beauty... [ie: tall and thin, white and light] when have they ever been right about anything? The media plays zero part in how I feel about myself, and you should make them nonexistent in your life too. [See Lesson #2 in The Four Agreements: Don't take anything personally - what others say and do is a projection of their own reality.]

This post was inspired by many things; the media, tumblr, Jay-Z even... but mostly something that I tweeted just the other day: What's the big deal about being attractive? It's gotten me NOTHING other than a bunch of unwanted attention from losers who have no chance. I got a few haha's replies in return, but a few women agreed with me. In my experience, it has been the truth. When I really thought about it, nothing but my brains and mental and emotional strength got me where I am today. Not my thin figure, not my full lips, not my brown ringlets, not even my pretty hazel eyes. And although I've always known I have desirable and enviable features, I've never rested my laurels on my physical appearance. I always felt like the day I did that, would be the day I'd come across someone who thought I wasn't even all that. Looks aren't everything, I mean, look at Oprah.

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