Friday, January 27, 2012

Shit People Say

This whole Shit Girls Say phenomenon has gone viral, but unlike most things that people latch on to and ruin, most of the alternate versions are hilarious and highly entertaining. After viewing 'Shit Girls Say' and 'Shit Black Girls Say' and finding them equally on point, I searched for 'Shit Hispanic Girls Say' and more specifically, 'Shit Dominican People Say'. I found three videos and they are all amazing. You can thank me later.


Darla does a great job, sharing many Dominican sayings that I'm not even familiar with. My favorite one is: A mi no me busques, que me vas a encontrar!


This is more like "Shit Dominican Moms Say" and it is, seriously,  1000% accurate. I am in tears every time I watch this!
 

This is, unfortunately and hilariously, a very accurate account of Nuyorican and Washington Heights based Dominican girls. The portrayal is immaculate!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Fears II


I cannot even tell you how much I love the beat to this song.

I'm sure it's no surprise that I found Miami to be pretty underwhelming. Although my vacation was more about me and my company and less about Miami, the majority of what I saw failed to evoke any real reaction in me other than “That's it?!” There were a few memorable moments: the good Cuban food at Puerto Sagua and witnessing a campy seven I-lost-count set show at the gloriously tacky Mangos Tropical Cafe. [May I never witness such a clowning-worthy atrocity again!] Also, Joe Budden was on my flight back to NYC. I first spotted him when he appeared right next to me during check-in. No lie. He smelled like weed, and his voice was so deep in person that it startled me. On another positive note, the weather was super nice. It remained breezy and in the mid 70s all week, and I certainly needed the respite from the New York winter. My week in Miami reminded me why I moved to the city from the New York suburbs: I feared wasting my life away in a “That's it?!” type of town. I remember being in Boise, Idaho and asking the dwellers what they thought of their town. The common response was “You get used to it.” That kind of passive stance on their environment made me shudder. I soon realized that I never wanted to live in a place that made me feel that way.

I have two adderall pills stashed away in my pill organizer, tempting me every morning when I take my prenatal vitamin [Mindy Kaling says they're great for your skin and hair!] I know the pills are legit [I got them from a trusted source] but I'm not sure what I wanna do with them yet. I mean, sometimes, my thoughts and energy are so manic that it feels difficult to get anything done since I can barely focus. But despite that, I have a huge fear of drugs and mind-altering substances. I'm the girl who won't take cold medicine until well after a week of struggle. I won't pop an advil unless my cramps are on the verge of unbearable. I was the girl who never knew what weed looked like until I found a bag in the freezer of my allegedly drug-free Brazilian boyfriend when I was 20. I didn't have my first real drink until I was legal [white wine], and to this day I've never been drunk. I've never touched cigarettes, and I speed walk past the toxic fumes on NYC sidewalks. I just find it all so unhealthy and ugly, and besides, no one around me growing up ever did any of that stuff. My Mom didn't even drink coffee. To do any of that shit now is like turning my back on how I was raised and where I came from. But adderall is different right? It helps you right? [Right?!] I heard it inspired Limitless. So for now, the adderall remains, until the one day I have some free time, feel like experimenting, or perhaps really really need it. One day.

I fear settling, I fear tempers [my own and my mate's], I fear feeling trapped/stuck, I fear feeling unfulfilled, I fear giving my all to someone and still feeling unloved. Five fears which culminated in my becoming a single woman again on Sunday afternoon. I believe in love, but I don't believe in putting up with people's insane emotional bullshit – which is something that boys want women to do all too often. It's not my cup of tea, and once I feel all the potential for something good in a relationship has vanished, it's time for me to leave. Run, don't walk when you're faced with someone's rampant denial of a major problem. If they can't see it, there's little you can do to make them. Plus like I always say... this is a city of 8 now 9 million people. There's no reason to settle for less when I'm an excellent catch with a few million potential suitors around me.

I fear complacency/staying stagnant. I've learned a lot about myself in the past few weeks, namely, I'm hella judgmental and I have a tendency to rush the whole relationship process [both good and bad things is my honest conclusion]. And on the flipside, I also learned that if you catch me on the right day on a good wavelength; I can be hugely generous and a real, no holds barred risk-taker. This month, I've turned down job after job [that I've needed!] due to them just not being a good fit. I've fine tuned my resume, I've sought out potential mentors and paid internships and entry level positions [unfortunately to no avail, so that search lives on!]. I want to meet new people - I always want to meet new people, I'm an extrovert - but my track record certainly reflects more disappointments than successes, so the thought of enduring that whole process again is discouraging, at best. But I know what needs to be done, so I'm putting myself out there [whatever that means] with a focus on not necessarily “faking it until I make it” but keeping negativity out of my interactions. That should bode well. After all: If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done... Right? I keep telling myself that.

What is it that I want that I never had?


Yes. Yes. This seems accurate.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Fun in the Sun

I know this isn't Miami, but it doesn't matter.
I'm headed to Florida for the very first time next week, more specifically, Miami. I have heard both good and bad things about the locale, so I'm not really sure what to expect, but I promise to reserve judgement until I get there. As long as the weather is warm, and no one mistakes my ethnicity for Cuban, I think a good time will be had by all.

I love flying.
I don't think this is Miami either. But it sure is pretty.

So with this impending tropical vacation... I'm at a loss as to which one of my bathing suits to bring. [Yes, I own all of these and this may or may not be my first opportunity to wear them since purchase. Don't judge me!] So, which suit do you like best?

The sexy crocheted one piece?
The black monokini?


The tie-dye monokini?
The fluttery Spring-esque bikini?

Or should I go for the itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini?! State your pick in the comments!