Friday, May 4, 2012

Burning Boats

Danielle LaPorte writes: “There’s a story ... about about a mythic band of magic-loving Irish folk. Feeling the call for newness, they would forge out to settle on a new island. Necessarily, they would make the journey by ship. When they arrived to their next land they would unpack — and then promptly burn their boats. No desire to go back. Focused forward. New journey, new way of getting there, new results. Usually we want to do more of what got us to where we are. There is safety in repetition. Familiarity, best practices, proven techniques.”  

I really racked my brain for a solid answer to this one. And then it hit me that the boat I wanted to burn had nothing to do with my career, it had to do with my personal relationships. I had come to this conclusion a few months ago, but I'm sharing it horns-blaring-loud-and-clear with you now:

I am burning the boat that carried all the drowning people I had once attempted to save. 

That's bold and that's big and most importantly, that's not easy - especially since some of the lost souls I know are in my family. But I've hit my limit with guiding the lazy, insecure and lonely. All too often, the affair ends in disappointment, bitterness and remorse. Nowadays, I'm more interested in finding birds of a feather and soaring together. Or in true "Blue" terms: Get on my level or get out of my way.

Although I'm grateful to these prior time-wasters for inadvertently fine-tuning my perception and mercilessly working my intuition, tutor-time is over. The lessons have been learned, the class has been taught, and I am now positive that the only way to help the sick is to administer counsel and be on your way.

Who you surround yourself with is extremely important. I cannot stress this enough. There's a reason why 'peer pressure' is a real thing and not just a saying. Even the Bible is aware of it. For example, one of the few [if not the only] biblical verse that resonated with me from my religious days was “Do not be misled, bad associations spoil useful habits” because I saw everyday how true it was. And if you're not into biblical verses, here's another saying for you [allegory?]: Make sure you don't have any snakes in the room when opportunity comes knocking.

What are some of the lessons I learned from poor association might you ask?
Hear ye, hear ye:
  • When a man says he's not ready for a relationship, believe him. He understands his dysfunction better than you do.
  • If someone doesn't have at least one close friend, it's for a reason. Decide if that reason is worth examining.
  • A friend who is never happy for you is a person who secretly envies/abhors you.
  • Jealousy, disrespect and absolute control have no place in a loving friendship or relationship. Cut that out now.
  • Know someone who is always exhibiting intense mood swings? Run! Don't walk from this psycho. It will only get worse.
  • If they nitpick or seem insatiable, they ain't worth shit.
  • People who talk all day and don't take any action will keep doing just that.
  • No matter how loyal or kind you've been, people with low self-esteem will end up pointing their frustration at you one day, especially if you happen to have a healthy self-esteem.
  • Feeling doubt about someone? That means don't proceed any further.
  • Your gut is a gift and it is the key. It will tell you when to stay, when to go, when to question and when to leave it alone. Listen to it!!!
  • Never ever be afraid to do what's best for you. If you have been kind, if you have given it your all to no avail, you can walk away guilt-free, and never look back.
And now, a poem I wrote back when I was a precocious teenager about the topic of letting go [from the viewpoint of the wrongdoer]. It's called "Candle" and it's incredible. Enjoy.
Will you light a candle for me? 
Light it in my memory
The memory of me inside
your mind where all your thoughts reside
You strike the match and light the wick
I ask of you, let me unstick
The pain of us, the hurt from me
erase it, let it all release
The loss and all the games I played
let them burn within the flame
And as you watch the light wind down
you'll finally know that I am out.
[This poem is an original work by me, Lady Blue. If you would like to share this poem, please note that explicit permission from me and proper credit are required. Any attempt to reproduce or profit from this work will result in immediate legal action. Thank you.]

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Be succinct and keep it classy :)