Thursday, October 28, 2010


After sharing my official A-List, it occurred to me that it was a pretty general and safe list, and there are many interestingly random things about the opposite sex that I consider green lights or deal breakers. These things really have no rhyme or reason, I just get an immediate "That's hot" or "That's a no go" reaction. And so, I thought it'd be fun to share them. 

A-List Addendum: 

Pets. If he's a pet person, lives with pets, wants pets,  grew up with pets - I'm not sure where it's gonna go. I haven't really run into this problem yet but I know it would become an issue. I mean, don't get me wrong I like animals, but don't get me wrong, I don't want them in my house; stinking up my furniture, taking all my money, whimpering at the foot of my bed, pooping in my shoes. I'll pass. I remember someone once telling me "That's very Dominican of you." Well hey, my Dad had plastic on the living room furniture, so what can I say? [He was doing the most with those white couches and a full house though!] Do I think pets are on the same level as humans? Absolutely not. Do they deserve love and adequate care? Of course. They just won't be getting it from me, in my damn house! 

Basketball. If I find out a guy plays ball and plays it well, I am ready to go like yesterday. And after my hot flash is over, I'll usually ask them if I can watch them play sometime. [Is that weird?] Why this is, I don't know. I can't play basketball in the slightest and I don't know any of the technical terms beyond a lay-up but lawd knows I'll sit there and watch a whole game in anticipation. Anticipation for what you may ask? *Shrug* All I know is that the combo of fit men of the cinnamon and chocolate variety running around all fast [possibly shirtless], while being all aggressive and gazelle-like gets me instantly giddy and sweating like a whore in church. 

Flip flops. Like my enemies and full on coitus, I feel as though a man's feet are something I should not see in public. So flip-flops and other sandal-like footwear are to be banned from my ideal man's arsenal. Now if he has nice feet, I might feel differently, and will deal with that on a case by case basis. For the record, I have very nice feet. 

Freaks. This is actually a turn off. There's nothing that makes my stomach turn faster than when a man has yet to learn my last name yet wants to know of my sexual preferences. Stop being a pervert!  If a man tells me he's a freak and would do anything once, I'm turned off. Because as with all things, I think one should be balanced, and everyone should have a limit. A guy who says he's a freak and acts like it all the time just makes me think he's the kind of person who would let a dog lick his balls because - hey, why not?  Yuck. Also, what is the point in telling me you think I'm a freak... Like I'm just supposed to lean in your ear and whisper "That's because I am" reassuring wink and all? Why is my perceived sexual prowess up for discussion in the first 10 minutes?

And this last one, I am torn on... A guy who likes to shop. I mean, I think shopping well and often goes hand in hand with being stylish, and a stylish man is a sought after man. But I can't help feeling a little funny if he happens to have more shoes than me. Or if he knows more about diamonds and cashmere and thread counts than me. *side eye* At that point I'm kinda like "Aren't you supposed to be watching the game?! Or chopping up some wood or something? Gah dam."

Gender roles for the win y'all.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


Time is our most valuable asset because you only have it once, and once you spend it, it's impossible to get back.

Spending money on things that are really important or the things that need the most work will make your dollar go farther. I drop more dollars on quality natural food and skin care products than I'll drop on T-shirts and skinny jeans. And in the future I know I'm more interested in a nice house in a great neighborhood than a decent 2 bedroom with a closet full of Birkins.

Here's a quote I love that goes along with both of those sayings: Each of us reveals our true priorities by how we spend two things: our money and our time... When we are aware of how we spend those two resources, we can shift them to align with our values.

Style is really about a great fit, balanced proportions and mix of color, pattern and texture.

Blond hair is only for the fair-skinned. I know this, and I know this for sure.

So many small things take away from your credibility - whether it's white lies, being consistently late, or a tattoo on your face.

If you want a successful and happy life you must make good decisions, you must take your life seriously and you have to be a go-getter. There is no other way. Period.

Being a highly attractive woman of color will eliminate most, if not all racism one would experience as an average woman of color. With that being said, the amount of sexism and misogyny you experience as a highly attractive woman will be triple that of any average woman of any race.

Faking and fronting especially in love and relationships only gets you an artificial result. Nothing wrong with flirting and keeping it lighthearted with someone you like but I wouldn't advise playing mind games and pretending as if you're not digging them because all that does is waste time and as we've already learned, one's time is extremely important.

Being independent and taking care of yourself and your own things/life will never backfire. Ever. I promise you that.

The key to life is... dun dun dun... balance. Nothing in excess, nothing in deficit. I strongly believe that even too much of something good will work to your detriment. If you're not sure what balance entails, think of opposites and try to find a middle ground between them. Another good word is "well-rounded". If you argue the necessity of balance in one's life, you might just be imbalanced.

Everyone likes a confident and happy person. And those who appear not to, are just envious.

More to come in the "Advice + Prosperity" category...

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Laws III

Law 25
Re-Create Yourself

Do not accept the roles that society foists on you.  Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience.  Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define if for you.  Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions – your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. The world is already running ragged with cookie cutter, society-approved types and frankly, I'm sure if you dug deep down you'd realize that's not meant for you anyway. I do feel that everyone should be themselves, while at the same time being the best they can be. Being realistic and balanced is also key. You don't want to be so extreme that you seem abnormal to everyone, nor do you want to maintain unreasonable expectations toward your life and personality. It's all a delicate struggle. But I will say that people usually respond quite positively to genuine, deep rooted confidence. And if you are missing that my friends, fake it until you make it.

Law 26
Keep Your Hands Clean

You must seem a paragon of civility and efficiency: Your hands are never soiled by mistakes and nasty deeds.  Maintain such a spotless appearance by using others as scapegoats and cat’s-paws to disguise your involvement.

Ugh. I disagree with this. Not only because it's nasty but it can backfire - and remember what we talked about concerning your reputation? Better to be known for making a few mistakes than be known for climbing to the top on everyone's backs. I think that instead of this vile approach, better to make yourself known as an honest, just person who presents themselves with integrity. That way when you make a mistake [because you will, we are human after all], you'll be in a position where your peers respect you so much they will most likely brush it off.

Sunday, October 10, 2010


I just have to say that for the past few years, Sarah Jessica Parker [forever known as Carrie in my eyes] has made visible roots and hippie-esque curly hair look really fucking good.

 The full look:

Sigh. Love  her.


Sometime in the beginning of September was Fashion Week in New York City. Although I love shopping and beautiful garments, I feel like fashion week just perpetuates the notion of the fashion world being very superficial and exclusive. But enough about that. Over 75 designers participated in Fashion Week this year [I don't think I can even name 25 designers], a few of them being old-timers like Donna Karan and Tommy Hilfiger. Now Donna Karan is one haggard lookin' broad, but she does make some bangin runway clothing. Props where props are due. Like I would totally wear this, and this. Ooh and this [eyyy... tell me homegirl doesn't have some serious swag?!] Other runway standouts include Tracy Reese, Monique Lhuillier [oooh sparkly] to name a few.

I went out on September 10th for Fashions Night Out because I missed last years and I wanted to see what all the hoopla was about. I also wanted to show NYC that I had a passion for fashion... Ahem. I picked up a pair of Sam Edelman thigh high brown leather boots in Union Square and after a pit stop at Chipotle with Redd, I ran off to SoHo to battle what I knew would be masses of people. In short, it was amazing. All of New York's youth came out in their Sunday best, and I wish I had taken better pictures [I only had my blackberry]. All I got was a bunch of fuzzy shots of the fashionistas swarming the SoHo Sephora because Gwen Stefani was in there. But I didn't really care because Gwen Stefani can't even dance so I was like, *shrug*.