Saturday, June 30, 2012

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

No Filter

You know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of feeling tired. My emotional and mental exhaustion has caused sore spots that I can feel all over my body, a dull ache in the pit of my stomach, a pain in my heart and a fog that's clouding my mind.

I'm tired of mustering up the courage to say what I really feel, only for you to not hear me, dismiss me, tell me that I'm not being positive enough, that I'm not focusing on the right things, that if I just hope/stay happy/do the work... things will get better. Newflash, this isn't a fairytale. Oftentimes, things don't get better on their own and it would help all of us if you would just acknowledge that and act accordingly. In the midst of my frustration and ongoing in vain efforts, the only thing your inspirational advice makes me wanna do is put a bullet in your head.

I'm tired of “friends” never ever being there, tired of people wasting my time and my energy, depleting MY resources only to completely turn away whenever I need them. I'm tired of acquaintances wanting to ride the wave of yet another opportunity that I created, only contacting me when things are good, offering nothing but a barely attentive ear when things are not. I'm tired of girls passive aggression, their “I'm so happy for you”s cloaked in jealousy, ill will and resentment. I'm tired of guys wanting nothing more than to fuck me and disappearing the second they see their efforts are futile. I'm tired of people attempting to strip me of my brilliance and talent – trying to make me feel like I'm not good enough for the good graces that befall many others everyday.

I'm tired of being fair and positive and forward-moving. I'm tired of working and giving and making an effort only to get NOTHING back. I'm tired of not being met halfway, I'm tired of god and the universe and faith. I'm tired of feeling like I need to be a robot with no capacity to feel.

I'm tired of you - all of you - taking me for granted on a continuous basis, and I'm tired of your audacity to think I owe you a god damned thing. I'm tired of money holding me back and I'm tired of people acting like you can make moves without it.

I'm tired of feeling like it's taboo to express feelings like this. I'm tired of being made to feel like an out-of-control weirdo for feeling like this, and I'm tired of others pretending like they've never experienced this madness before. I'm tired of your two cents, your faux well wishes, and your “help”. If you really wanted to help... you would've wrote me a check and shut the fuck up.


Thursday, June 21, 2012

Dancing in the Street

I love this video so much, I had to post it here and on my tumblr. It's basically Rosario Dawson and some "homeless" guy jamming on a London street to a swell tune: The Bullitts - Super Cool. It cracks me up how he keeps saying "Rosario Dawson!" every five seconds. Fast forward to the 3:40 mark if you just wanna peep her moves.

I went out Tuesday night with my Polish friend who, believe it or not, is the best dancer [other than myself] that I know. We are always the best dancers in the club - hands down - but more importantly, we seem to be the only ones laughing, drinks & hands in the air, singing along to the lyrics, showing out and just having a genuinely fun time. I don't understand why people go to the club to stand around - in an effort to look cool and composed, they look anything but. Busta Rhymes was in the building the same night, and I swear to you, more eyes were on me and my pal than on Busta. When you got that glow!

Anyways, back to the video. This video tells you three things:
  1. PSA for women who do nothing but shake their asses at the club... THIS is how you groove!
  2. PSA for men who like to sneak up behind women and get all touchy feely without their consent, THIS is how to dance with a woman without making her feel like the object of your perverted affections.
  3. Don't take yourself so seriously when you're dancing. Shake your hips, raise your arms, laugh and smile. Have FUN. Stop worrying about what other people think, it never matters!
And this video also tells me three things:
  1. People of color MUST move when they hear a fly tune. It's either a head bop or a table tap or a little wiggle, but it's something.
  2. Rosario Dawson is a sweet dancer, therefore my spirit sister.*
  3. With that being said, I'm about 99% sure I could take her.
A video of me breaking it down will be coming up very soon actually. Rejoice! And tell a friend.

*Ironically, Rosario Dawson looks a lot like my real older sister.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Consulting 101

"All the magic I have ever known, I have had to make myself." - Lady Blue

I bet some people are perplexed by a 20 something year old woman consulting and advising others on their lives and businesses. Well, I encourage all skeptics befuddled by the prospect to try me... [My most affordable session is $65 for half an hour and even the poorest in America can scrounge that up!] The real story is:

I've got this in ways that you can't even imagine...

and I never would have started this company if I didn't earnestly believe that. So get your credit card and book a session! But in the meantime, I'll share some of my favorite universal tips for FREE. These are pieces of advice that are applicable to people everywhere:

If no one will give you an opportunity, create your own. I have seen people do this time and time again and it works. Although some idiots won't understand why your work isn't attached to a big name, true hustlers will respect and applaud your efforts. As a Latina who moved to NYC with no connections [and even less in my hometown], following this piece of advice has been my saving grace.

If you are trying to find your life purpose or are at all fuzzy on your strengths and weaknesses, take the Myers-Briggs personality test! Penelope Trunk promotes this test all the time, and I now understand why; it was through reading my personality profile one night that the idea of consulting occurred to me – crystal clear, shiny and brand new.

It's okay to stop and think and take a breath; shit, you have to walk before you can run, but whatever you do: Don't waste too much time. Time is the only thing that you can't get back, so spend it wisely. Work smart and have fun and you'll avoid being bogged down by the all too common middle-age regrets later.

Understand that you'll never feel completely ready. The stress [and breakouts] I endured the week before the Elle B. launch felt colossal, but I pushed through my anxiety because I knew that releasing the company had to be done. I felt ready but a small part of me [as well as the butterflies in my stomach] wanted to pack up and run. So the truth is - yes everyone lied - you'll never feel 100% ready and raring to go right before taking that next big step. But when you're close enough to see the other side, you have to make a commitment to close your eyes and jump.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Introducing: Elle B. Consulting


*Deep breath*... The idea that appeared in my head a little over 6 weeks ago is now an established business, a true company... REALITY! After weeks of furiously writing contracts and copy, obsessing over the design of the website, poring over every detail of the business, setting up styling sessions, photo shoots and various administrative accounts, it's here!!!

Elle B. Consulting in a nutshell:
I finally got sick of wasting time working under other people, got an epiphany and decided to launch my own consulting company: Elle B. Consulting. After it officially launches, I'm giving myself six months to turn a steady profit, and another six to double that amount into serious bank. In the meantime, I'll be blogging, starting work on my novel and marketing the shit out of my new baby. Also, in an effort to keep things somewhat linked, I pulled “Elle B” from Lady Blue [“LB”], my pen name on BlueShame.

Isn't that sweet?!

Elle B. Consulting's mission is to provide clients with genuine, effective and honest consulting to solve different problems, assuage a variety of concerns, and achieve mental clarity. I offer lifestyle/personal consulting as well professional consulting for small businesses and entrepreneurs, with an emphasis on creative hustlers and go-getting artists.

I offer five different types of sessions, everything from 30 minute Zip Sessions to 3 hour Capital Sessions, with prices from the trés affordable to the somewhat spendy. Make sure you check out the Elle B. Consulting site RIGHT NOW for an in depth look at my consulting style, my company philosophy and even to book a session!

But of course before you go, I need your help! You must help me spread the word about Elle B. Consulting

Take one second to share this post OR my company's site with your real life friends, and if you're active on social media; on your twitter, tumblr, facebook, google+, linkedin, wherever/everywhere!!! Consider yourself a partner in the promotion of the glorious Elle B. Consulting machine. I have built it, so help me get clients to come! [P.S. - The testimonials are ALL REAL, from folks I consulted WAY before Elle B. was even a thought. See? I was born to do this!]

It's important that you add a short message or some context before you share my link [people like to know what they're clicking on]. Here are some short and sweet bits to get you started [feel free to copy and paste!]:
  • My favorite blogger has launched her own consulting company! Please check her out! [LINK] #EBC
  • Need to take your business to the next level? Elle B. Consulting can take you there [LINK] #EBC
  • Do you have a fuzzy life vision? Elle B. Consulting can help you paint the picture: [LINK] #EBC
  • Does your creative business need a boost? Elle B can help your business soar [LINK] #EBC
  • Hoping for good? Strive for amazing with Elle B. Consulting: [LINK] #EBC
  • Are you a creative entrepreneur in need a dynamic influence? Reach out to Elle B. [LINK] #EBC
  • Let Elle B. Consulting help you achieve your dreams: [LINK] #EBC
  • Need lifestyle advice for a personal problem? Contact Elle B! [LINK] #EBC
  • You deserve to live up to your potential. Elle B. Consulting can help you excel: [LINK] #EBC
  • Ready to start a revolution? Book a session with Elle B. Consulting today! [LINK] #EBC
This has all happened so fast, but I'm a boss now... Quite literally. 
How about a round of applause?

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Glowing Beauty

Check out these gorgeous illustrations by artist Thien Bao. His lifelike and stunning pieces of art are almost seductive, and I love that he represents women of color in his work. My favorite image is the first because "ooooh the colors!" plus she looks like a bad-ass Latina! Latina Buena indeed.



Monday, June 4, 2012

Behind BlueShame

Lost in the Clouds by Thien Bao

Three things I've never told you about BlueShame:
  • I wish you guys would comment more.
  • I have not earned a single penny from this blog and I've never attempted to market it.
  • About three years into blogging, I thought about changing the name because I felt BlueShame sounded too pessimistic. I decided to leave it be for three reasons: It had become “just a name” like I intended it to, it was too much of a hassle to change, and I really couldn't come up with anything better [Blue Dame was close, as was “The Royal Blues” - but I decided the latter will be the name of the BlueShame spinoff book I plan to write].
Why did you decide to create BlueShame?
I remember loving the intimate feel of some of the first blogs I'd read [I used to frequent The Champ's old blog as well as the blogs of some of his kin, and me and James Conran – Coco Rocha's husband - were xanga buddies back in the day]. I started BlueShame in Spring 2009, and the last time I'd written anything online was on my xanga account when I was 17. [It's still up actually!] I was going through so many changes and growing so much that I'd taken a three year break from writing completely, and I hadn't even noticed! I had just escaped about three years of absolute tumult, and I was alone and laid off in an 8x12 room in Bay Ridge with no one to talk to. So I started thinking back to what I used to do when I was alone but needed to express, and I remembered writing. It was like a lightbulb went on over my head, and that was it. It chose me.

Friday, June 1, 2012

24 Hours in a Day

The very second that I turned 24 [an hour and a half ago now], I was squinting in front of a computer screen making sure my new company's “policies and procedures” looked just right. [I've been working on Elle B. all day, and just took my first break from it order to write this.] Something about this upcoming birthday made me feel like it was now or never... so I chose now, because hey... you only live once.

There are 24 hours in a day... and I'm going to make sure that I live my life to the fullest every hour of this 24th year. My first work of order? Fly out to Miami in a few days [after my long-awaited photo shoot and the launch of my new company of course]; and hustle, party, grind and network for seven straight weeks right alongside my new-found partner in crime. I surprised myself by considering this, but when all the pieces fell so perfectly into place, my excitement started to build and I felt compelled to follow through. To say that she and I are going to kill it is an understatement of epic proportions.

Happy Birthday to me... I'm 24 BITCH!!!

My life, in so few words.

And p.s. - This time next year, I'm totally throwing a swank soiree because: it's the big 25 and what the fuck... I've worked hard!