Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Online dating questions that put me to sleep:

Do you have more pics?

How is your day going?

How was your weekend?

On The Cross 

What are your plans for the day?

Where in the city do you live?

What do you do?

eye roll_0 

What's your ethnicity/background?

Do you speak Spanish?

How many siblings do you have?

I only know who this person is because of Twitter.
I only know who this person is because of Twitter.

What do you do for fun?

How tall are you?

Do you go to the gym?

Would you like to meet for coffee?

Can I take you out for a drink?

What are you doing today? Wanna meet up?


Friday, May 16, 2014

Maybe I've been reading too much Penelope Trunk, but I have a five year plan:

And it goes a little something like this:

I've tailored my dating search to focus only on successful men. This means white collar professionals, or those making at the very least $80,000 a year or more. No blue collar types, no guys still in school, no doctors even, and definitely no con artists or hustlers. So the pool I've honed on are pretty much rich guys. And not counting the guys who are arrogant assholes, these men seem to be split evenly into two camps.

Camp A) A woman needs to pull her own weight alongside me.
Camp B) I will work hard enough for the both of us.

Guess which camp I am working at this summer? Although truthfully I prefer a blend of both camps, and a while back was more into Camp A, the only camp for me is Camp B. Why? Many reasons.

One, the men in Camp B have more of my desired attributes – kind, loving, considerate. I want a man to be captivated by me, to want to spoil me, and be receptive to being taken care of in return. One of my deepest secrets is that I want to spoil and be spoiled by a mate, forever and ever. That's just my personality, and I'd like for my partner to share that trait.

The second reason is that, if I have kids - which most high earning men seem to want, because they have the provider gene, and need to feel like all their hard work is worth something - anyway, if I have kids, I plan on raising them myself. No nannies for me, at all whatsoever. I don't even want a housekeeper, mostly because I like to clean. It relaxes me. But back to my original point, if I have kids, I plan on raising them, and that's at least 4 years at home for each kid, and if I have my way, I'll have three. Two boys and a girl. That's a lot of time at home, raising wayward babies into model citizens. There would be no point in ramping up a career, only to scale it all the way back when I'm in a position to raise babies.

But this brings me back to a choice I made just two and a half years ago. I decided to quit the workforce and work for myself, virtually. This was for two reasons, one that the present me would benefit from and one that the future me would benefit from. The present reason was to allow me the ability to travel, and the second reason was so that in the future, I wouldn't drop out of the workforce completely. I'd still have my books, and my creative things, and my various income producing channels; as any entrepreneur should.

I'm serious about living life in the best possible way for me, and it's obvious that I've been making steady plans since I was old enough to have agency. It shocks me that other people do not live life as right.

What I absolutely need in man (written, unbelievably, while sober*)


Because I am every man's dream woman, I thought it might be helpful to share what a dream woman seeks in a man. I used to have a helluva list, but I've since learned that none of you read, so here it is, the magic combo, boiled down to four palatable bullet points:
  • SUCCESSFUL because I'm not trynna deal with no broke, struggling, miserable ass dude. If you're a boss and still miserable, just know that your ass sold your soul for some bread and now I'm gonna have a blast with it... because if you're gonna make me your sole source of joy, well I need to be compensated for that in other things. I want a fly apartment, and shopping sprees galore as well as money to invest in my business, books, photo shoots and the like. I'll cook and clean... and that's if I'm not working on my own endeavors. Your housekeeper is what, $50 a week? Yeah, if that's gonna keep a smile on both of our faces, keep her. You can judge me as a golddigger all you want, but I paid for more than enough men and made more than enough last year to sit comfortably in this position. Ask me if I care. Do it.
  • INTERESTING because you need to bring out the best in my personality and keep my easily bored ass entertained. If you lack passion in your life, some kind of beat to your tone of voice or a refreshing perspective you can count my ass OUT. I can't help it; average Joes, routine people, platitude thoughts, predictable behavior bore me. It bores me so much it gives me a headache. And an advil can't cure that kind of headache, only a permanent escape will. I can't be the only entertainment in this affair, for that I'll need a mic and to be paid.
  • GOOD-LOOKING because I went from a 8 to 9 in the course of a year and I really refuse to even glance at someone that's a few notches below that. What a fucking insult. If you are not at least a 7 before upkeep and grooming don't even think about saying hello to me. I'm fit, trim, classically and universally beautiful with a toasty complexion that makes me look healthy and bronzed all year round. Like a trophy. You need to look worthy of standing beside me in that glass case. The world is watching, and my body doesn't get hot for anyone who isn't tall, chiseled and stylish with perfectly proportioned facial features. If you have crazy confidence, I'll forgo style. I don't need a Ken doll... but I need at least an 8. Get it right, get it tight, and don't mislead me with photoshop and filters you foul ass liars.
  • KIND. No more being taken for granted, lied to, misjudged, bored, dragged and played in the two zero one four. No more emotional immaturity, no more lack of commitment, no more wannabe men dragging their damn feet and wasting my cotdamn time because they don't know which way is right-left-up-down-like-dislike-want-need or rebuke. GOODBYE. Go ahead and grab this one way ticket to hell if you don't know how to open a door, how to say thank you, how to take your wallet out to pay on a first date, or if you don't have any common sense or knowledge of the golden rule! Treat me well, treat me considerately, because you have no reason not to treat me any other way. I'm pleasant, I have manners and I'm special. And if you don't know these things, your horny thirsty ass needs to NOT ask me out on a date. This ain't playtime fools, this is real time and you better bring your A-game and go hard for an A-class chick or go home!
And before you start, anyone who knows even a bit about me knows that I offer these things and plenty more, for the low low price of having the four bullet points mentioned. Good riddance otherwise!

*Fuck you, I've never even been drunk. BYE.

Thursday, May 1, 2014


“I hope I can follow established procedures today. On second thought, I'll settle for a few minutes.”

This is my daily struggle, as an ENTP [MBTI], an extrovert - intuitive - thinker - perceiver the “Visionary” who always has million and one ideas floating through their head, so many that it makes it hard to pick one with which to follow through.

I haven't written in a long long while, it's been so long that I don't even want to check to see the date of my last post. Other than leaps and bounds in mental and emotional growth, not much has happened. I made a lot of money very quickly last year. I thought I fell in love with someone, and after it was all over, I realized that I never was.

I feel calm, comfortable, and HAPPY, and did not realize what a load I was carrying until it lifted.

I'm dating again, because I want to and because I'm ready. The real thing is out there waiting for me somewhere, I just know it. And I wouldn't be me if I didn't go out there and look for it. Dealing with people is so much easier now that I trust myself enough to completely listen to my gut. I don't wait for proof now, any semblance of a sinking feeling is proof enough. The only regrets I have are related to people I let in, despite my gut warning me about them. No more chances. My heart can't take it anymore.

I'm making a lot of new strides. When I first decided to become an entrepreneur, I spent a lot of time at home, with my head down, my eyes glued to my computer screen. I was obsessed with reading and research, and stayed inside because it was comfortable and minimized the amount of money I spent. After months of working for someone else, and a few more weeks of interpersonal trial and error, I was tired of dealing with people, their quirks, their anxieties, their instability. I was focused on me, my business and making this virtual thing work.

So for the first time in a long time, I'm back out there. Dating, meeting new people, making new friends. Telling strangers my life story, giving things a shot, trying to be patient when I feel like someone just doesn't understand, and trying to give people the benefit of the doubt without compromising the warning signs of my gut. I'm also seeking people to work with, makeup artists, photographers, videographers and beatmakers. I wonder about how to give people the space to create their best work, while still overseeing every step of the process.

I'm selling most of my closet on eBay and have been since the fall. It's time to make the transition from pieces that evoke color, comfort and youth to ones that look sharp, wise and cool like I've always dreamed. It's profound how things have changed for me now that I'm beginning to look like the woman I've always wanted to resemble.

I feel like I'm always in a state of transition and have often thought that it would be SO nice to write a post where I say “This is it. I'm finally here. Where I want to be.” But, if I'm honest, I know that growth and betterment is what life is all about. And more precisely, it's what I'M all about... an ENTP strength is the fact that they're extremely interested in self-improvement and growth, personally and within their relationships. So even though I'm not yet where I want to be, I can honestly that I'm closer than ever to getting there.

I hate that my posts can be so vague, but transparency will make an appearance via video. Stay tuned.