Thursday, January 14, 2016

Change it or Accept it – the Motto for 2016 and Beyond

Been there baby.

I felt a tightness in my chest for hours on Monday. I woke up with it. I feel like I awoke disappointed or something, and then for like 72 hours, carried around what can only be described as a heavy heart. Even on days where things are relatively good and fine, I feel a tightness in my chest, a weird pretzel knot of anxiety and/or stress and/or worry. And it's most likely because of the people I'm surrounded by, by default. I say by default because these are family members and old friends whom I've known for years, with lovely hearts – good people who ultimately mean well. But the majority of them have one terrible, awful, no good, bloodsucking, draining, maddening, bad habit.


Endlessly. About the same thing. For years.

And do nothing, at all, to change or improve their situation.

They just go round about in circles, thinking that they're making progress, but they're just examining their problem from another angle, with another magnifying glass. They're doing the same dance with different moves. They are going nowhere fast, and want to tell me all about it.

My understanding and rational nature, excellent listening and insightful advice-giving skills are being wasted on the shiftless. Monday alone I had four people complain to me. Two complained about their jobs. One complained about their relationship. And the last complained about both their relationship and their job. I know another person who complains about everything from their job, to their relationship (or lack thereof), to their friends, coworkers, and the price of fucking tea in fucking China.

I have been unhappy in situations before, I may be unhappy in situations again. But I know how to gather the courage and change things, or accept them if I truly can't or don't want to change them. When I am dissatisfied, I wholly trust that I will do what is needed to bring myself back to a place of satisfaction. I say that I'm fearless, but the truth is I sometimes feel the fear, but I do what I have to do anyway. I do not let fear stop me; EVER. My sanity, my happiness, my everyday calm depends on it. I am worth it. All of these people suffer from low self worth, negative mental chatter, cowardice, laziness or all of the above. Sometimes people are so deep in the bubble, so roped into their routine and their everyday life that they can't see the possibilities outside of that. Most times I get stuck on how to proceed because I don't know HOW to proceed, or what to do next. But in the age of google and the internet and the world at your fingertips, there is really no excuse.

And if you don't know what to google, start with the first thing on your mind:

Why am I so unhappy/stuck/angry/sad?

How can I get a job that pays me well/that is fulfilling/that is located abroad/as a photographer?

How do I handle a partner that is jealous/abusive/neglectful/selfish/amazing? :)